Likelihood that tomorrow will suck: 66.67%

Virginia -- Eat the Kids First

I wish I know whose tag this is, because I would bow to them. That, my nonfriends, is brilliant.

I drove back to Winston-Salem today. I needed to. I had to pick up some money that was waiting for me. $1,266.83, actually. Which means that right now ranks up in the top ten wealthiest moments of my life. Which is sad.

And oh my god I fucking hurt now. I loved Winston-Salem while I was living there. I really did. It is such a beautiful little city. Even at my most depressed it still felt like home to me. And that word — home— I don’t use it lightly. I went to 12 different schools before I completed eighth grade. I love my Mom but damn she fucking gypsied the hell out of our lives.

Is gypsied a word? Fuck it. It is now.

I was 22 years old before I ever felt like I had a place to go home to  and I love that fucking city.

JerryFallwellburg hurts, and frankly, it scares me.

But I had to go to the bookstore and my old apartment and get my money and now I’m sitting here lonely and homesick and I want it back. I left WS running away from a broken heart. Fuck me. Fuck me and my broken heart. It doesn’t matter. I’m just one incomprehensibly insignificant little girl. Who cares if my heart is broken? I don’t even care half the time.

in other news, I. Am. So. Fucked.

I have a job interview tomorrow. Two, actually. I’ve gone through my entire supply of temporary drug test cleansers. Half the reason I chose to go today was because I knew I could stop at Glitters in Greensboro and stock up. If only I had called ahead to learn that Glitters is fucking closed on Tuesdays.

Let’s talk about irony. Can we do that? Irony is the fact that all the things on this list apply to me:

  • I am a fucking pothead. If there were no weed I would have no purpose in being alive.
  • I intentionally moved to a city where I know no one and have no dealer.
  • I still cannot pass a drug test. And I really need to.
  • I need to pass said drug test as part of a possible way of finding a new dealer and eventually becoming my own dealer.

Brilliant, Amanda. Fucking brilliant.

Job interview A, which is at nine in the morning, is for one that I would really like to have. And I know for a fact that they drug test. So here are the scenarios. In Scenario 1, I go to the job interview, it goes well, and they send me home telling me they’ll call me back. I drive like a bat out of hell to the closest head shop that I can locate on the internet tonight and stock up on piss cleansers. They call me back and I cheat the drug test and get the job. In Scenario 2, I go to the job interview. It goes well and they hire me that day and send me for a drug test, and I have to decline the job. In Scenario 3, I go to the job interview, it goes badly, and I still drive like a bat out of hell to stock up on piss cleansers for future options.

I’ve got a 33.3% chance of tomorrow not sucking.

Job Interview B is for a job I’d really rather not have, which probably won’t drug test. Even if it does, it’s at four in the evening and barring some catastrophe I’ll be loaded up on cleansers by then so it won’t matter.

Job interview C, also for tomorrow, is one that I would like to have, but is also not really a job interview. It’s just when I introduce myself to some guys that are opening a restaurant and will need waitresses in a couple of weeks.

A Chart:

Job A Job B Job C
Likelihood of finding a fellow pothead at new job who knows a dealer 50%-75% No fucking clue. Can’t even guess Seriously? It’s a casual dining restaurant. Those motherfuckers are high as shit. Stereotypically, at least.
Likelihood I’d meet some cool people to chill with 75%-100% 0%-25% Insufficient data
Likelihood of getting the job: 33.3% 75%-100% 50%

Likelihood that it’s already getting late and I’m wasting time playing with html for a secret blog when I should be finding headshop listings on the internets: 100%

Likelihood of me finding a free wordpress template I like: Fail.


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