is this normal?

A couple of days ago, after much provocation and flirting, I gave my best friend a blow job while his girlfriend’s best friend watched. Started out by watching, at least. Turned into two girls who claim to be lesbians simultaneously giving his twig and berries a sloppy tongue bath.

His girlfriend was at work at the time. It did make him a bit late picking her up.

R really only claims to be M’s best friend so that she can chill with us. She doesn’t really like M any more than I do.

R also really also only wants to hang out with us because she’s in love with me and wants to fuck the hell out of C and I. Simultaneously.

And I really like R. If I wasn’t so goddamned in love with C, I’d totally give it a shot with her. C really likes her too. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about getting rid of M altogether and making is just one big sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll triptych for C, R, and I.

I’ve become the type of person I idolized when I was a teenager, the person who sleeps with all of their friends, does drugs daily, smokes too much, and turns chilling out into an art form.

Which is too say that my ideals were a little fucked.

it’s just as satisfying as I’d always thought, all those past … 10? years, when I only hated myself for not being that person and not knowing how to really get there.

Location, location, location, it turns out.

Still though, I have a nagging awareness of just how dramatically I’m ruining myself, and it sucks sometimes.

I told S, who’s in love with R and probably M too, that I would suck his cock for some weed. I was kidding. Mostly.

Oh God. I have to get in bed. I go to work at five in the morning. Everyday. Won’t find too many potheads that say that, now, will you?


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